A Day in the Life of Keith Richards

Marshmallow Peeps will be taking over the world someday soon. The best way to prepare ourselves would be to know how it will come about. Some questions one might ask are, "How will I know when this happens? How will we prepare? How will we stop them? When will they take over the world and force us into submission, dressing us like cute little monkeys with vests and hats, and made to do their will. Why is Keith Richards still alive?" I have the answers to all of these and more, excluding the one about Keith Richards. I don't believe anyone knows why he continues to walk this Earth.

One must know what to expect when the overtake begins, so I will inform you. Please excuse me for being informal, but when it comes right down to it I don't believe the Peeps will mind if we skip the formalities. This is our downfall I am foreseeing after all. Now read carefully and make sure you take this all in, this exact scenario may well be where it all begins.

First you'll eat one. Then you'll think two would be just fine, but they come in four packs so you can't just leave two behind. That would be unfair. Before you know it you'll have eaten sixteen of the little yellow scourges (though many have been experimenting with color changing attributes and thus may appear pink, green and other various colors). The high sugar level in your bloodstream will increase hyper activity, decrease attention span, lower inhibitions and generally cause you to go all "wacky".

Then the sugar crash hits. Your stomach will feel as if you've gorged upon old gym socks. Your head will feel as if tiny gnomes with miniscule gnome hammers have beaten you about the head. Lethargy will set in and the smallest task will feel overwhelmingly impossible. You think a little more sugar will help so you open another packet of Peeps. This will be the beginning of the end.

The thought of eating one more marshmallow chick (though through polymorphic technology it is believed they can now take any shape they wish) makes your intestinal tract cringe with fear. You drop the opened pack of Peeps on the floor and some sort of wicked energy lifts you up and rushes you to the bathroom. You begin to vomit profusely, bringing up the sugary goodness (though now showing it's darker side) that is the Peep.

Meanwhile, the sugary gods of darkness unloose themselves from their prison of plastic wrap and cardboard. They will first send out a scout to ensure the coast is clear. It spots you over the toilet bowl and it seems as if you will not be up and about for a good fifteen minutes. It signals the others and they know that Operation P.O.P.E. (Peeps Overtake Planet Earth) is well underway. All across the country, unsuspecting people are praying to their porcelain gods and ridding their bodies of vast quantities of refined sugar. This is when the harbingers of marshmallowy death leap into action.

Now they will free their comrades who are still in their airtight bindings. After freeing all they can, a regiment will be sent to cut the phone lines and power. Two will be sent on a kamikaze mission to cut the water pipes (they are sugar after all).


The power goes out and you look around in surprise, then annoyance. You stumble about in the dark, searching for your flashlight, when you feel something spongy. You find you're light and you flick it on. They're everywhere, staring at you with their beady little eyes. You take a step backwards and feel a squish underfoot. More Peeps. The one you stepped slowly returns to its unnatural state (did it snarl at you?). Something scuttles by your foot in the darkness, more scurry behind you. You turn and everywhere your flashlight shines, Peeps are there staring back at you.

You run through the bathroom door and pick up the phone to call...who? The cops? They won't believe you. While you figure out who exactly it is you should call, you find there is no dial tone.


You scream as something bites your ankle. You shine your light down and there is a Peep staring blankly up at you. Blood is on it's, well wear it's mouth should be. Something now gnaws at your neck. You slap it and throw it to the ground where the Peep begins to morph into it's original form. Your flashlight flickers out and more scampering is heard in the pitch black.

All of a sudden they attack and they are all over you. Trying to defend yourself against their onslaught, you rip them shrieking from your flesh and bash them against any hard surface you come in contact with. However, their hordes are too great and the little spawns of Satan bring you to your knees. Soon enough, you're completely overcome and they begin to devour you, just as you consumed their Peep families for all those years. The tasty despicable fiends grow bigger with each bite. Bigger...bigger...BIGGER! They grow to such monstrous proportions that they burst the walls asunder, forming one giant Peep overlord.

Your house explodes as it cannot contain the awesome power of the Overpeep. It roars its mighty marshmallow roar, shattering the windows and streetlights throughout the neighborhood. The underlings of the other houses begin to break free, mimicking their supreme Peep leader. Slowly they drag their beastly sugar-puffed bodies out of town, destroying everything in their path. Every U.S. town is experiencing their terrible wrath.

The vile Overpeeps make their way to our nation's capital. They gobble up every human they come in contact with. Mothers, fathers, babies, acne ridden teenagers, they don't care as long as it's human flesh. The president calls for the heavy artillery knowing the Secret Service won't be able to stop these marshmallow monsters. Every military unit within range respond, the other's spread out across the United States. They open fire on the invading evil. However, the fluffy Peeps just absorb the bullets and missiles turning them back at our own troops. Tanks, jets and all other sorts of military vehicles are destroyed by the returning munitions.

Nothing is working. The president has no other recourse, but to nuke the bastard sons of the devil. He pushes the red shiny button and Kaboom!
Everything in America is destroyed. No people, no animals...nothing. Not even a Peep. Keith Richards stumbles along the rubble and finds a cockroach. He shrugs his shoulders, puts it in a pipe and smokes it. The U.S. as we know it is gone. At least we got rid of the bringers of divine evil. That's all that matters, right?
Somewhere over the Atlantic ocean a cargo plane flies to Germany. Giant wooden crates marked "happy marshmallow yummy gooey Peep goodness inside", "fragile" and "this side up" sit in eerie silence. The Peeps wait in anticipation. Will the Germans be prepared? Da Da Duuhn...

I hate my life.

OH MY GOD!
We've got to warn the president before it's too late!

I LOVE PEEPS

what are these Marshmallow Peeps ? i either don't know the translation or i don't have this stuff here. do you have a picture?

This is not good , I bloodly hate Keith Richards

Don't ask why I had these on my computer...I don't know...



I don't know if they're more frightening..or this

i know them, they're sweets that are too sweet and make u sick and feel like they're make of rubber or smth

I STILL LOVE 'EM

I can eat a whole 16 pack in one sitting. hmmmmmmmmm

They're going to use you Frog...you will be the downfall of us all!

Whoooohoooo Damn, I just found my knitch. This proves my parents wrong. They always said I was good for nothing.

Marshmallow frog... hmmmm, could be a big seller